remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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