My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize