the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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