Yo dont text me then not text me
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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