EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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