Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize