I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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