Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Randomize