did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
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