Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I'm passing your future prison.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
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CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
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