I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize