I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
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