We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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