woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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