i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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