i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
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That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
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You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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