I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
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