ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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