like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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