I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize