Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize