The maid of honor just puked.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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