Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
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If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
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This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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