I've blown a few things in my day
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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