something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
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