I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize