let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize