kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize