This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
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His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
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I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Randomize