Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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