I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
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Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
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I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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