How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
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