Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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