it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
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