Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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