Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
she smelled like a LAN party
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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