capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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