YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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