I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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