she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
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long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
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