First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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