She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
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He called his prostate his "boner button".
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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