apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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