if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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