I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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