chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
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