yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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