She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Randomize