I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
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This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
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I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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