We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize